Share
You know what to do, so why can't you do it?
Louise Hurley • July 2, 2025
Parenting in the Heat of the Moment (Literally)
You Know What to Do, So Why Can’t You Do It?
If you know me at all, you’ll know I’m a cold weather girl.
It remains a mystery to me how I’ve managed to live this long in the Arabian Gulf.
Well, okay -not a complete mystery. Long live air conditioning!
But the point is: I don’t do well in the heat.
Parenting in the Heat of the Moment (Literally)
One of my biggest parenting flash points?
Parenting in hot weather.
Anyone with a toddler knows that buckling them into a car seat can be a challenge.
Especially if you’ve just cut their soft play session short and they really didn’t want to leave.
So when my kids hit that “I’ll do it myself” stage-the slow crawl from outside the car to their seat- I’m just standing there, sweating buckets.
That’s when I start to get impatient.
Aggravated by the 40-degree sun.
These are the moments I flip.
Honestly, it’s like rage surging through my body.
“Hurry up, for the love of all things holy!!”
I snap.
I force.
I yell.
All the things I know I shouldn’t be doing.
And of course, this escalates into a power struggle.
It doesn’t speed anything up. It just drains everyone.
By the time I collapse into the driver’s seat, I’m depleted.
Tomato-red.
Drenched in what I like to call pressure sweat.
But most of all?
I’m wracked with guilt.
Because I know what these kinds of reactions can do.
I’ve read the books.
I follow the accounts.
I know better.
Yet here we are.
It’s Not a Knowledge Gap. It’s a Nervous System Gap.
Even though you know, rationally, that yelling doesn’t help, many of us find ourselves doing it anyway.
Not because we’re bad parents.
But because we’re human - and triggered.
Parenting books rarely talk about this part:
What’s happening inside your body when you’re reacting.
This isn’t about needing more parenting tips.
This is about your nervous system.
When you're under stress, your thinking brain—the part that remembers all those gentle parenting nuggets-shuts down.
And your survival brain?
It takes over.
So no, you’re not failing.
But you are flooded.
Let’s normalise this:
• You’re not broken.
• You’re not a monster.
• You’re not ruining your children.
You’re dysregulated.
What Conscious Parenting Actually Means
Let me be clear:
I’m not asking you to become a matcha-sipping, yoga-practising parent who never loses their cool.
Being a conscious parent doesn’t mean being calm all the time.
It means:
• Being aware of what’s happening inside you
• Returning to connection after rupture
You’re not aiming for perfection.
You’re aiming for repair.
Because when you model:
• How to apologise
• How to take ownership
• How to reconnect after a meltdown
…you’re teaching your child the emotional skills they really need.
Mindsight: The Skill That Changes Everything
Most of us are operating on autopilot.
Reacting, reacting, reacting.
Conscious parenting introduces the idea of mindsight-
A simple but powerful skill.
Mindsight = noticing what’s going on inside your own mind, so you can respond instead of react.
Take a breath and ask yourself:
• What’s one moment this week you wish you could rewind?
• What were you needing in that moment?
• What was your nervous system trying to protect you from?
This is where the real work begins.
You Don’t Need More Pressure. You Need Support.
The books, blogs, and saved Instagram posts?
They’re great.
But what you really need is a space where you feel:
• Seen
• Understood
• Supported
That’s what 1:1 coaching offers.
You’re already a loving, dedicated parent.
Now you need the support to implement what you already know-
With nervous system tools and real-time guidance that meet you where you actually are.
💬 Ready to go deeper?
I’d love to invite you to reach out or book a free connection call.
Or, if you're just getting started, download my free Conscious Parenting Guide-it’s the perfect first step.
You don’t have to do this alone.
And a few small tweaks can truly change everything.
The Science behind mindfulness and parenting
What is conscious parenting anyway?
If you feel like simply getting out the door on time (tie your shoes… where’s your coat… do you have your lunch??) is a battle, the reality is that you are locked in a power struggle with your child.
